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ShadeGrenade
'Golden Age Of Television? No It Was Not!'
The highbrow Fifties and Sixties represented broadcasting's zenith, runs the received wisdom. JAMES FLOPINSON begs to differ in an exclusive article you will be able to read in every other paper today...
Here we go again. Some toffee-nosed yesterday's man who used to front 'Panorama' tries to make a name for himself at the Edinburgh Festival by telling us how much 'better' British television was in the 'good old days'. Ho, ho, ho, say I to that. News has been dumbed down, documentaries sensationalised or pushed to the edges of the schedule, and lifestyle programmes dominate the listings. What twaddle! Reality T.V., says the chattering classes, is the blister on the big toe of the modern age, and how much better it was when we had 'The Ascent Of Man', 'Civilization' and 'The Christians'. What these people don't mention of course is that there were only three channels in Britain then. Why? Could not anyone count in those days? If the technology existed to create three channels, why was it not used to create loads more? Alright so there were no reality shows or makeover programmes, but hours of boring programmes showing old people how to play dominoes. None of these shows exists anymore, thank God, but how tedious it must have been for the discriminating viewer who loves to see sixteen year old girls jumping naked into swimming pools. There were huge gaps in the schedules until recently, which meant there was nothing on in the afternoons on B.B.C.-2 except those silly 'Trade Test Films' about homemade cars and cattle carters in Australia, while over on I.T.V. housewives watched 'Crown Court' and cried because it wasn't 'Loose Women'. Yes, there are fewer 'serious' programmes on primetime today. 'Johnny Go Home' could never be made now, and viewers can remain blissfully ignorant of the plight of homeless young people in London. Who remembers 'Market In Honey Lane', the number one show in April 1967? Well, I do, obviously, else I would not have mentioned it here, but millions don't. The news in those days was excruciatingly dull, consisting of a man in a suit sitting behind a desk reciting plain facts. Now we have tasty bimbos bestriding a set that looks like the bridge of the U.S.S. Enterprise, while jaunty music is used to pep up reports of earthquake disasters in India. We also no longer have inane stuff like 'On The Move' in which Bob Hoskins showed adults how to read. U.S. imports long ago lost their domination of primetime, now we have shows with clever titles like 'My Breasts Need A Firm Hand', '10 Most Embarrassing Things About Being Dead', 'Celebrity Blow Football' and 'Wudja Cudja Kickk Der Bukkit Fer Dosh?'. Saturday night schedules are better too, whereas people once watched 'The Black & White Minstrel Show' with its unmistakeable racial overtones, they can now watch repeats of 'Little Britain' with its unmistakeable racial overtones. Those expensive comedy spectaculars made by L.W.T. have long since been replaced by smug young men at desks cracking gags at the expense of '40's newsreel footage. Progress is a marvellous thing, isn't it? Many shows that would have been on B.B.C-1 in the Sixties are now on B.B.C.-4 where they get far fewer audiences. Just as many shows that are on B.B.C.-1 now will soon be on U.K. Gold where they too will get far fewer audiences. That is the way the game is played. Some B.B.C. executives pontificate about audience segmentation. I think this to be a good thing. Remember the bad old days when 28 milion people all saw the same show? How embarrassing it was to have to admit to your mates the next day you never saw it because your set had exploded? All that is now a thing of the past because nobody watches anything anymore. People get information on programmes from the Internet. Often before they are made. British viewers started a fan club for 'Heroes' before the ink was dry on the pitch document. The golden age of T.V. never existed. There is more now and much of it is far better, Just ask Davina McCall. In the words of Sixties Prime Minister Harold Macmillan 'fetch my shotgun, Dorothy. I'm off to the moor to bag a few grouse'.
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'When I Get Old'
A Funny Little Poem
When I get old
I'm going to have some fun.
I want to irritate, aggravate
and generally annoy everyone.
I'll wear flared trousers
Nylon cardigans, polka-dot cravats,
Tartan scarves, woollen mittens
Orange trousers with great green spats.
I'll throw eggs at The Mayor
Write to 'The Daily Mail'
Send fan mail to Pat Boone
And my loose change to 'Save The Whale'.
I'll go to Asda's and yell &Tesco!&
Donate my laundry to a charity shop
Then when they've washed it all
I'll go there and buy back the lot.
I'll hold up post office queues
By chatting to the staff.
Grow conifers in my front garden
Dump sacks of coal in my bath.
I'll argue with shop assistants
Over the price of a loaf
And when the manager intervenes
I'll call him a 'XXXX-ing oaf'.
I'll drink beer at �1 a pint
Grumble about the juke-box noise.
Jog drinkers' elbows
Pick fights with the rougher boys.
I'll brag about my army days
Even though I didn't serve.
Flash a chestful of plastic medals
Only when I'm old will I have the nerve.
I'll play dodgems with my Tesco trolley
Give dirty looks to unmarried mothers
Castigate disabled drivers
Wave my brolly angrily at all the others.
I'll go on the B.B.C.'s 'Question Time',
To demand that conscription and hanging be brought back.
Endorse the views of Richard Littlejohn
By calling for the Chancellor to get the sack.
When I get old
I want to be all the things I've never been.
A reactionary, a pain in the neck
Not moody, mot magnificent - just plain mean!
copyright Shade Grenade 2007
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Reviews
Lucky Feller: Lucky Feller: Pilot (1975)
The Unseen Shorty
One of the great things about Network Distributing is that, whenever they released a series on DVD, they took the trouble to include pilot episodes ( the ones that still existed at any road ). 'Lucky Feller' benefited from this treatment. The pilot opens with a different title sequence ( though the music is the same ). The plot that follows would be reworked into the second episode of the series entitled 'All The Tea In China'. Shorty and Kath are already known to each other, and Kath has a different hairstyle to the one she sported in the series. 'Mrs. Mepstead' is played by Elisabeth Spriggs ( of 'Shine On Harvey Moon' fame ) while 'Randy' is played by Nicky Henson, looking remarkably like his 'Fawlty Towers' character 'Mr. Johnson'. Randy's drunken friend is played by future 'Dr. Who' Sylveste McCoy. In the remake, Mike Grady took the role.
I preferred Henson as 'Randy' to Peter Armitage. I don't know why. He just seemed better suited to the role.
Funniest moment - Shorty trying to use chopsticks to eat his food and, getting nowhere, produces a penknife and whittles one end to enable him to spear the delicacies.
The Life of Riley: Oh! Sister (1975)
Riley's piles problem
Nowadays piles can be treated either with ointment or
( heaven help us ) an injection administered by a doctor. When this was made, a short spell in hospital was the remedy. Frank Riley ( Bill Maynard ) moves into a private room, although his affliction does not stop him from flirting with the nurses. He forgets to bring pyjamas with him, so his boss' secretary brings him a pair, and gaudy they are too, making him look like a refugee from a circus. The nurses are delighted when Riley brings a colour television with him as it means they can now watch ;Kung Fu' ( an American series starring David Carradine ) in all its glory.
Frank's Welsh son is not around. Some of the gags here would not have seemed out of place in 'Carry On Doctor. Riley goes to use a ceramic bed-pan at one point only to smash it by accident
Funniest moment - the terrified look on Riley's face as a nurse shaves his more intimate areas..
Lucky Feller: A Night on the Moors (1976)
Down on the farm
Shorty and Kath are on their way to Bournemouth when they get lost. A terrible storm is underway, and the couple stop at a farmhouse to ask for directions. The farmer and his wife ( Prunella Scales and Michael Stainton ) are hospitable, and give them dinner and let them stay the night. After a surfeit of home-made wine, the quartet gets drunk and is up for naughty business. However, a mix-up sees them making love to the wrong partners...
One of two episodes without Randy and Mrs. Mepstead. Scales, of course, had just appeared as 'Sybil' in the first season of 'Fawlty Towers'. Stainton had previously appeared with David Jason in his previous series 'The Top secret Life Of Edgar Briggs', in which he played 'Buxton'.
When Kath and the farmer's wife realise what has happened, they are horrified at first, but then laugh it off.
Funniest moment - Shorty, his hands covered in bandages, wants to spend a penny. The farmer lends a helping hand ( in both senses of the word ).
Father Charlie: Halfway to Heaven (1982)
The end of Father Charlie?
Before I begin this review, I just want to express my sorrow at the recent death of Kenneth Cope. He will, of course, forever be remembered for his role as the ghostly detective 'Marty' in the series 'Randall & Hopkirk ( Deceased ). Not forgetting 'Jed Stone' in 'Coronation Street'.
This episode of 'Father Charlie' was penned by its creator, Vince Powell, and is infinitely superior to the other episode I saw recently, penned by Myles Rudge. Father Charlie ( Lionel Jeffries ) is kneeling in the chapel when he gets a bad back. Thinking he might be malingering, the Reverend Mother ( Anna Quayle ) takes him to a doctor ( Arthur Howard ). She overhears the doctor discussing a terminally ill patient and assumes he is talking about Charlie. She changes her attitude towards the priest, letting him smoke and drink and giving him full English breakfasts in bed. Eventually, she realises he not going to die after all and prepares to get revenge...
We have all seen plots like this in other sitcoms. Powell himself used it in 'Love Thy Neighbour' at one point. Diana King, who plays 'Mrs. Wilson' was in numerous sitcoms of this era, including 'You're Only Young Twice'.
Funniest moment - Charlie chatting to a patient, played by Leslie Sarony ( the second actor to play 'Uncle Staveley' in 'I Didn't Know You Cared' ). "I've come with my stomach!", says Sarony. "You could hardly have come without it!" replies Charlie.
Lucky Feller: Where There's Life, There's Soap (1976)
Lunacy in the laundromat!
Every series has a stand-out episode, and for me this one is 'Lucky Feller's' finest half-hour. Kath ( despite having rejected Shorty's marriage offer ) remains close to him just to get near Randy, his brother. She and Mrs. Mepstead visit the laundromat and meet 'Shirley Mayall', played by the late, much-missed Josephine Tewson, and sporting an outrageous black wig that does her no favours. The machines go wrong. The Mepstead brothers are called in, and here Shorty discovers Kath's infatuation for his brother. A fight breaks out, and soon the laundromat resembles a scene from the 'Space 1999' episode 'Space Brain'.
Very funny episode. Saeed Jaffrey plays the harassed landromat owner, and it is good to see Pat Heywood equipped with a better script than the one was given in the film 'All The Way Up'.
Funniest moment - teed off with Shirley's trouble-making, the angry landromat owner pushes her into a sea of soap bubbles.
Lucky Feller: Mother's Day (1976)
When Shorty met Kath
For years, the ITV sitcom 'Lucky Feller' had a reputation as being a flop. David Jason blocked repeats on ITV in the early 80's and it remained unseen for years until it came out on Network DVD. It turned out to be a decent show. It cast him as Bernard 'Shorty' Mepstead, a shy plumber who has never been on a date with a girl. Unlike his older brother 'Randolph', played by the late Peter Armitage ( best known for his role in 'Coronation Street' as 'Bill Webster' ), who has a girl in every port. This episode opens with Shorty preparing a special Mother's Day breakfast ( Mum is played by the late Pat Heywood ), but it results in a blazing family row. Shorty has arranged for the family to go to Brighton on a day-trip. On the train, he meets the lovely 'Kathleen Peake' ( Cheryl Hall ) and is smitten by her. She likes him, but her real interest is in his sex-god brother...
A good opener. Terence Frisby, the author, was best known for the hit stage show 'There's A Girl In My Soup' ( later filmed starring Peter Sellers and Goldie Hawn ). 'Lucky Feller' mixes humour and pathos in equal proportions. Something 'Only Fools And Horses' attempted ( and failed ) to do with its 1986 Christmas episode.
Funniest moment - Shorty struggling to eat a sandwich composed composed of tough meat. He gives up the fight and pretends to sneeze so he can be rid of it.
Room Service: Episode #1.7 (1979)
Hotel hell
Reviewing 'Room Service' for 'The Sun' newspaper, critic Margaret Forwood said it was a 'vulgar and predictable sitcom in the mould of 'Are You Being Served?'. Correct. However, she then added that it would be 'likely to enjoy a similarly long run on television'. Wrong. One season and it was axed.
Jimmy Perry's show was set in a busy London hotel, where the staff are composed of people of various nationalities. A sort of 'Mind Your Language' with napkins. Bryan Pringle plays 'Spooner', a gruff, Basil Fawlty-type character who is having a fling with 'Marlene', the receptionist, played by Penelope Nice. Freddie Earlle was good as the sex-mad Italian waiter 'Aldo De Vito' and Matthew Kelly notched up his first sitcom role as the naive 'Dick Sedgewick'.
It did not gel. Surprising considering it was produced by Michael Mills, who'd worked on 'Some Mothers Do Av Em' amongst other things. In this final episode, the hotel is full of dogs as there is a dog show going on nearby, and the waiters are called upon to take the little darlings for walks. One dog owner is played by Sarah Douglas, and she fancies Matthew Kelly's character. Unfortunately, she goes after the wrong waiter - Aldo. Considering this was by one of the team responsible for 'Dad's Army', you'd think it'd be a lot funnier. There are more laughs to be found in the 2015 film of J. G. Ballard's High-Rise' ( and they were unintentional ).
Funniest moment - Aldo boasting about his sex appeal. The actor rises above a banal script.
My Brother's Keeper: The Play's the Thing (1975)
Stage-struck
An episode of George Layton and Jonathan Lynn's hit Granada sitcom in which they played twin brothers of widely differing personalities. 'Brian Booth' ( Layton ) is a conscientious policeman, determined to do his duty, while brother 'Peter' ( Lynn ) is bearded, trouble-making and scruffy ( not unlike Bill Oddie's character in 'The Goodies' ). Peter wants to put on a local version of the controversial revue 'Oh Calcutta'. Brian is dead against the idea as the play features nudity. When Peter won't change his mind, Brian goes to the Principal. Peter decides instead to do 'Romeo And Juliet but with a difference - a key scene will feature the principal actors in the nude...
Like 'Young At Heart', this sitcom evaded a DVD release, and I find that strange as its quite good. Layton and Lynn really throw themselves into their characters - there is not a trace of either 'Dr. Paul Collier' or 'Danny Hooley' on view. Hilary Mason played their mother, and Tenniel Evans played 'Sergeant Bluett'. Lesley Dunlop is 'Gwen', the girl student whom Brian wants to appear in the altogether.
Funniest moment - Brian gets a job at the theatre shifting scenery. He does not tell anyone he is a policeman. As the nude scene gets under way, he is so startled he falls off a ladder!
Lovely Couple: Come Fly with Me (1979)
The engagement that never was
Christopher Wood was a busy man in 1979. As well as penning the script for that year's James Bond movie 'Moonraker' ( a wonderful film. Don't let anybody tell you it isn't ), and a novelisation of said movie, he also found time to script this 13 part London Weekend sitcom, which went where 'The Lovers' dared to tread a decade earlier. Anthony O'Donnell plays 'David Mason' and the lovely Elaine Donnelly is 'June Dent'. Both have been dating for a while. They want to go on holiday together but don't want to offend their parents and so they pretend to get engaged.
Maggie Jones ( 'Blanche' from 'Coronation Street' ) plays David's mother, and David 'Cockleshell Heroes' Lodge is June's dad. And there's Pauline Quirke in her first sitcom role as 'Carol', June's best friend., a prototype for her 'Birds Of A Feather' character. Geraldine Newman later played the wife of Stanley Lebor's character in 'Ever Decreasing Circles'. This is one of those shows where the cast struggles with a less-than inspired script. O'Donnell and Donnelly are very good, but the show failed to make stars of them, as 'The Lovers' did with Richard Beckinsale and Paula Wilcox.
Funniest moment - David announcing the fake engagement to June's parents, and then accidentally smashing Mr. Dent's home-made pool table. We all guessed that it would happen, but its still funny all the same.
Girls About Town: James Bond (1970)
The would-be Women's Libbers
The pilot episode of 'Girls About Town' went out in 1969 and starred Anna Quayle and Barbara Mullaney ( now known as Barbara Knox aka 'Rita' from 'Coronation Street'). Neither made it into the series. Replacing them were a pair of actresses best known for children's television - Denise Coffey ( from 'Do Not Adjust Your Set' and 'Two D's And A Dog' ) and Julie Stevens ( from 'Play School' and the film 'Carry On Cleo' ). It cast them as 'Rosemary Pilgrim' and 'Brenda Liversedge', housewives keen to be part of the then-new feminist movement. If they tried burning their bras, they'd burn their fingers instead.
This episode sees the girls falling for the handsome electrical repair man 'Jason Pettifer', played by Tom Adams. Rosemary likens him to 'James Bond' which is apt as, during the 60's, the actor starred in a trilogy of low budget spy movies as 'Charles Vine', a now-forgotten 007 clone. Rosemary breaks her television set so that Jason can come around and repair it. But she loses her nerve and goes out to buy some chops for her husband's tea...
I enjoyed this hugely. Witty dialogue by Adele Rose ( she also wrote for 'Coronation Street' ) and fine performances by Stevens and Coffey. The latter is so cute it hurts. Only two episodes remain in the archive. That's a shame. I would have liked to have seen the rest. Shaw Taylor, the Police 5 man, is seen on Rosemary's set ( she fancies him! ).
Funniest moment - Brenda asks Jason to call and she gets herself ready for him. But a completely different man comes in his place.
Young at Heart: Ashes to Ashes (1980)
Collyer pays his respects
More comedy with the Collyers.
Albert calls on Charlie, an old friend from way back. He has a nasty shock - Charlie has passed away and has been laid out in a coffin in his front room. Charlie's widow ( Peggy Aitchison ) invites Albert to the funeral. Never one to pass up the chance to imbibe free beer, Albert goes, taking his neighbour Norman ( David Neilson ). The only problem is the pair go to the wrong funeral...
Another edition of a show that strangely did not make it onto a Network DVD. The pairing of John Mills and Megs Jenkins ( both of whom had appeared together in the film 'The History Of Mr. Polly, which Mills produced ) was a good one, and David Neilson and Carol Leader provided support. Vince Powell was guilty of rehashing old comedy ideas; the important thing to remember is that they were strong to start with.
Funniest moment - Ethel and Albert making plans for the latter's funeral. She has a particular pub in mind, but he objects as he does not like the beer there. She reminds him he will not be in a position to drink it!
Grundy: What You Don't See, Ask For (1980)
Grundy shuts up shop
Grundy is perplexed to receive a package of pornographic magazines ( he must have been the only newsagent in the country not to sell them ) and sets about attempting to return them to their rightful owner, a shop called 'Boodles' which looks like the sort of place Charlie Endell ( of 'Budgie' fame ) used to run. He encounters the shop's owner, played by Stella Tanner, and she is up to more than just selling smutty magazines...
This final episode bears a strong similarity to the 1973 film 'No Sex Please We're British' ( which starred Ronnie Corbett ). The problem here is that there's little interaction between Grundy and Beryl, and it was this interaction that made the show work. She takes over the shop while Grundy is away, and manages to sell some of the dirty books to an excited city gent, played by John D. Collins.
Funniest moment - Grundy's encounter with a plain clothes policeman, played by Glynn Edwards. Murray quips "'ello, ello, ello!" and Grundy thinks the cop has said it!
Grundy: For Love or Money (1980)
Grundy debagged!
This episode opens with the startling sight of Sharon ( Julie Dawn Cole ) in her underwear. She was game for anything, our Julie; in an episode of the BBC's 'Poldark' series, she did a nude scene.
Grundy has received a letter telling him the lease on the shop is soon to expire; to renew it he must put up a hefty sum of money. He has not got this, so he wines and dines Beryl in the hope he can charm some cash out of her. She is, naturally, amused by Grundy's attempts at courtship. In the supermarket scene, one of the checkout girls is the lovely Rosie Collins, whose other credits include 'Shelley' and 'Victoria Wood; As Seen On TV'.
Funniest moment - Grundy gets drunk and begs Beryl for money. Then he passes out. When he wakes up, he is in her bed, and his trouser bottoms are missing! ( i must mention Lynda Baron, who looks gorgeous here, and indeed in the rest of the series ).
Grundy: Hands Across the Table (1980)
Beryl's birthday
Beryl is surprised when Grundy sends her a birthday card ( actually, its an old christmas card with the goodwill message crossed out ). Grundy surprises her further by asking her to dinner at a fashionable restaurant. Is he warming to her at last?
Nice to see the characters evolving over the course of the series, not just doing the same thing over and again ( a curse of many sitcoms ). Grundy thinks he can convert Beryl to his puritanical view of the world; she thinks she can do the same to him. Watching from a distance are 'Murray' ( Beryl's son, played by David Janson ) and 'Sharon' ( Grundy's daughter, played by Julie Dawn Cole ), The gay waiter is Alec Bregonzi, who for many years read aloud viewers' letters on the BBC's 'Points Of View'.
Funniest moment - mistakenly thinking that Beryl's ex-husband is coming to the restaurant, Grundy crawls under a table and moves off, taking a couple of dinners with him!
Grundy: Saturday Night Fervour (1980)
Beryl falls for Grundy
It is Saturday night, and Grundy plans on spending the evening in front of the television, watching a film about nuns. Wholesome family entertainment. Sharon is planning to go on a date with Murray. Her dad is not happy about it, but lets her go on the grounds she comes home early. Grundy gets a phone call from Beryl; she wants to see him. He relents. On her way to the shop ( curiously, it looks like Arkwright's in 'Open All Hours', which Lynda Baron also appeared in ), Beryl trips and falls, grazing her leg. Grundy fishes out an old first-aid kit, and prepares to administer treatment...
Some good interplay here between Corbett and Baron, not unlike that from the film 'Rattle Of A Simple Man', in which Corbett appeared with Diane Cilento.
Funniest moment - Beryl using a mop to support herself as she limps around the shop, reminding Grundy of Long John Silver.
Grundy: We Can't Go on Meeting Like This (1980)
Library laughs
The second episode of 'Grundy' opens in the newsagents' owned by the man himself. He finds three library books of a salacious nature ( they'd been taken out by his wife Vera ) and sets out to discreetly return them.. He wraps the books up and leaves them behind a radiator. Beryl arrives and attempts to continue her seduction of Grundy. The parcel is discovered, and panic ensues. Could it be a bomb?
One problem this show had at the time was that repeats of 'Steptoe & Son' were still going out on the BBC, meaning in effect that Corbett was competing against himself. 'Grundy' stood no chance. The late Barbara New, seen here, later appeared in the underrated "you Rang, My Lord!".
Funniest moment - Grundy picks up the 'bomb' and the people in the library applaud his bravery. Unfortunately, he then knocks it onto the floor!
Grundy: First Encounters of a Close Kind (1980)
When Harry met Beryl
Back in 1980, we could not have known that 'Grundy' would turn out to be Harry H. Corbett's final sitcom. Had we known this, is possible we might have been more charitable towards it. It no 'Steptoe & Son', but, taken on its own terms, is not too bad. We first see Leonard Grundy emerging from the divorce court in a state of shock. His wife Vera has finally found another man, ending thirty years of marriage. He meets up with daughter 'Sharon' ( the lovely Julie Dawn Cole ) and they board a train. While Sharon goes off to the dining car, Grundy finds himself alone with an attractive woman, 'Beryl Loomis', played by the late Lynda Baron, of 'Open All Hours' fame. Grundy opens up to her. He is a 'Daily Mail' editorial come to life. He blames the breakdown of his marriage on the 'permissive society'. Grundy and Lord Longford would have gotten along famously. The Tories felt there was too much freedom around in 1979 and promised to curtail it if they won that year's election ( which they did ). The term 'permissive society' was used in the same context as 'woke' is today. It was right-wing shorthand for 'everything we don't like'. Beryl is charmed by him ( in real life, she would probably be repelled ). While Sharon is dining, a young man called 'Murray' ( David Janson, of 'Get Some In!' ) tries to chat her up.
Funniest moment - Grundy's horror on discovering that 'Murray' is in fact Beryl's son!
'Grundy' is not a classic, but compared with modern shows like 'Miranda' ( all about a woman who keeps falling over ) and 'Fleabag' ( it made me itch! ), it is. I saw this in a completely different light and shall view the remaining episodes with considerable interest.
Take My Wife... (1979)
A comedian's life is not a happy one
The late Duggie Brown came to public attention via 'The Comedians' television series. He appeared in several series, such as the BBC detective drama 'The Enigma Files' and Shelagh Delaney's 'The House That Jack Built' ( no relation to the Adam Faith series of that name ). Granada's 'Take My Wife' was written by Anthony Couch, author of the dreadful 'Devenish' starring Dinsdale Landen. Brown played 'Harvey Hall', a struggling club comic. Elisabeth Sladen played wife 'Josie' ( this would have been five years after her stint as 'Sarah Jane Smith' in 'Dr. Who' ). Cast as Hall's crafty agent 'Maurie Watkins' was the late Victor Spinetti, in his first sitcom role since 'Two In Clover' a decade earlier. The episodes were equally divided between domestic scenes involving the Halls and excepts from Hall's stage act. Its these latter scenes that the comedian seemed most comfortable in. He and Sladen had no on-screen chemistry, unlike that he later achieved with Sharon Duce. Spinetti came off best. She later said that making the show was 'no fun'. One season and it was gone forever. You have to give Brown marks for trying something different. We can but wonder how the show would have turned out with, heaven help us, Bernard Manning as its star. Brown went on to star in another Granada sitcom - David Nobbs' The Glamour Girls' - which cast him as a seedy agent running an all-female promotions business.
70's porn queen Fiona Richmond guested as 'Bubbles Boutique'.
The show's director, Gordon Flemyng, also had a 'Dr. Who' connection - he directed two feature fllms based on the show.
All the Way Up (1970)
Great cast, shame about the script!
Made ( I suspect ) to cash in on the success of 'Till Death Us Do Part' ( a film version was released the previous year ), 'All The Way Up' is based on the play 'Semi-Detached' by David Turner. Mitchell plays 'Fred Midway', an ambitious man who has his eye on promotion, and resorts to blackmail. His family are no better; when son 'Tom' ( Kenneth Cranham ) gets his girlfriend 'Daphne' ( Adrienne Posta, looking gorgeous ) pregnant, they concoct a plan to blame the pregnancy on 'Mr. Makepeace' ( Bill Fraser ), Midway's boss. The film, the only one directed by James MacTaggart, starts out promisingly ( Midway is working late one night to write a blackmail note ), but soon runs out of steam. Which is a pity as it has a great cast, including Richard Briers, Elaine Taylor, Frank Thornton, Pat Heywood, and Terence Alexander. Everyone tries too hard to be funny. A straight rendition of the play would probably have been more effective. Instead, MacTaggart has the cast walking quickly and yelling in a futile effort to conceal the fundamental weakness of the script.
Vanessa Howard squeals constantly, making her character a complete pain, and a car breakdown gag is used at least twice. Mitchell does his best to make 'Fred' funny, but it was an impossible job. Thankfully, a BBC revival of 'Till Death Us Do Part' was on the cards.
Funniest moment - Nigel ( Richard Briers ) in a Soho strip-club. So fascinated is he by the artiste he climbs onto the stage and lunges at her!
Norbert Smith, a Life (1989)
Sir Norbert, this is your life!
I must confess to never having seen Harry Enfield on 'Saturday Live' ( I was usually out when the shows were on, and my VCR was unreliable ). This 1989 spoof documentary starred and was partly written by Enfield himself, and is about an untalented British actor who amazingly appeared in dozens of pictures. The format allowed Harry to poke fun at various genres, from the Will Hay comedies to the Ealing films and kitchen-sink dramas of the 'Saturday Night Sunday Morning' variety. Cliff Richard type movies also come in for a ribbing, as do the 'Carry on' series. The latter sketch - 'Carry On Banging' - features Barbara Windsor, Jack Douglas and Kenneth Connor and has more genuine humour than all ninety minutes of 'Carry On Columbus'.
Peter Goodwright's Will Hay impression is bang on the money. Despite his numerous appearances in shows like 'Who Do You Do?', this talented performer never got the solo vehicle he deserved. Josie Lawrence and Felicity ( I'm Alan Partridge' ) Montagu also appear. And we get to see Jana Shelden ( Catastrophe Kate' from 'Rentaghost' ) in the bath!
Funniest moment - Smith doing a public information film warning about the dangers of VD without once managing to mention the subject by name.
A tour-de-force from Enfield. He later reused the format in his 'normal Ormal' and 'Smashie and Nicey' programmes.
Sez Les: Episode #7.1 (1973)
Les Sez Becomes Sez Les!
'Les Sez' returned to ITV in July 1973, reverting to its former title - 'Sez Les' - and incorporating many of the elements that had been dropped from the previous series. A guest star, for one thing. Here its Olivia Newton-John, the UK's entry in this year Eurovision Song Contest ( she was beaten by Abba ). Bill Hitchcock remained producer, but back came David Mallet as director. Also returning was the Syd Lawrence Orchestra. Replacing 'Les Girls' was the Irving Davies Dancers, who do a baffling routine based on the theme to the recently released movie 'Brother Sun, Sister Moon'. Eli Woods and Roy Barraclough are still around, but there's no Damaris Hayman and Jenny Lee Wright. Peter Dulay, a writer and co-producer, left to oversee a revival of 'Candid Camera'. David Nobbs was the new script editor, meaning the sketches improved in quality.
This episode saw the debut of Cosmo Smallpiece, a bespectacled man with sex on his mind ( and several other places as well ). Les would play him for years to come.
One guesses that the ratings for 'Les Sez' could not have been impressive, hence this reversion to the original format.
Funniest moment - as ever, Les' monologues about his wife and mother-in-law. Yes, they do offend modern audiences but who gives a monkey's?
Dixon of Dock Green: Jackpot (1976)
Harold hits the big-time
Written by Derek Ingrey, 'Jackpot' was one of the last 'Dixon Of Dock Green' episodes to be made. It guest stars Kenneth Cope as 'Harold Tovey', one of life's underdogs. He has a rotten job, people laugh at him because he loves detective books and his blowsy wife 'Margaret ( Pat Ashton ) is sleeping with gangster 'Tony Kinsley' ( Paul Darrow ). You wonder why Harold puts up with it all. Then, something wonderful happens. At a party, he overhears Kinsley and another gangster discussing where they have stashed the proceedings from a plastics factory robbery. Harold finds the money first, and goes on a wild spending spree. Margaret thinks he is on holiday in the continent, but he is really enjoying a sub-James Bond lifestyle in London's casinos and hotels.
For those who fondly recall Cope's performance in 'Randall & Hopkirk ( Deceased ), this is a must-see. You will be cheering Harold on. The little man has suddenly become a big man. Amazing what money can do. Darrow went on to play 'Kerr Avon' in the BBC's 'Blake's 7' series. Deirdre Costello was 'Linda Preston' in the BBC's 'I Didn't Know You Cared'. Jack Warner was in poor health by this time, which is why the police put him behind a computer.
When the gangsters find the loot gone, they blame each other, never once suspecting Harold! He goes back to his wife, and she welcomes him with open arms!
Sez Les: Episode #6.1 (1972)
Sez Les becomes Les Sez
After a short break, 'Sez Les' returned to ITV, but with a few curious differences. Bill Hitchcock replaced David Mallet as producer ( Mallet returned as director the following season ), the regular musical acts ( such as the Syd Lawrence Orchestra ) disappeared, and the comedy sketches increased in number. The oddest change was the title - 'Sez Les' became 'Les Sez'. The old title returned the next year. Les now had new co-stars, such as Damaris Hayman ( who served a similar function to Margaret Dumont in the Marx Brothers movies ), Jenny Lee Wright ( of Benny Hill fame ) and Eli Woods, a one-time stooge for the legendary Jimmy James.
With the singing and dancing gone, Les and his writers ( whose number included Peter Dulay of 'Candid Camera' fame ), were free to explore interesting comedic ideas, such as a railway station being run by out of work showbiz performers. Stephen Lewis ( 'Blakey' from 'On The Buses' ) appeared in one episode as ( guess what? ) a police inspector. Rod Hull ( sans Emu ) also guested. Viewers were not to know it but the show would soon feature John Cleese ( fresh from 'Monty Python's Flyng Circus' ).
'Cosmo Smallpiece' ( try getting away with a character like that now ) and 'Cissie and Ada' were, of course, yet to come.
The Spare Tyres (1967)
Who will rid me of these troublesome tyres?
I have not seen 1967's 'the Spare Tyres' since it turned up on ITV one afternoon in the mid-70-'s. The 'TV Times' write-up did not make it clear whether it was a one-off film or the first episode of a weekly comedy series ( I can remember thinking it was a thin premise on which to build a series ). It was one of a number of short British features used to support major films. The late Terence Alexander ( many remember him as 'Charlie Hungerford' in the BBC's 'Bergerac' series ) plays 'Dennis Colville', who moves into a new house with his wife, Judy Franklin. In the garden are two spare tyres. She orders him to dispose of them. Not an easy job. Then - as now - fly-tipping was illegal. Dennis finds a rubbish dump, only to be told by a 'Jobsworth' character ( Frank Finlay ) that he cannot leave the tyres there, Poor Dennis must continue his search...
Had Eric Sykes made this, it'd probably be packed with guest stars of the calibre of Jimmy Edwards and Charlie Drake. There are a few well known faces scattered about, such as the aforementioned Finlay, Tenniel Evans, and Pauline Yates ( Mrs. Reggie Perrin ). The script is by Donald Churchill, and is more inventive and amusing than 'Spooner's Patch', the police sitcom he had the misfortune to star in. Julia Jones, who plays 'Monica', would later team with Churchill to write ITV's 'Moody and Pegg' series. The real star is, undoubtedly, the tyres themselves. Had an academy award for best acting by a pair of old tyres existed in 1968, they would have won it easily.
Funniest moment - one of the tyres propelling a bread van into a river, resulting in a lot of very soggy loaves!
Many thanks to Talking Pictures TV for resurrecting this long-lost gem. Perhaps next they can unearth 'Ouch!' ( from 1966 ) starring Peter Butterworth as the accident-prone 'Jonah Whale'?
Saucy!: Secrets of the British Sex Comedy (2024)
Confessions and adventures galore
This two-part Channel 4 documentary came as an unexpected surprise. Over the past few years, we have suffered dozens of inane, poorly researched programmes in which D-list celebrities have blathered on endlessly. The writer and producer - Simon Sheridan - is the author of a marvellous book called 'Keeping The British End Up' which is worth a read even if you don't like the genre. It was fascinating to see Gay Soper, Christopher Neil, Oliver Tobias, Francoise Pascal and Robin Askwith and hear what they had to say about their time before the cameras. I take exception, though, with the comment that the key audience for these films consisted mainly of old men in grubby macs. When I visited the cinema, I saw only teenagers keen to have a good laugh. They pretended to be older than they were.
Courting couples also enjoyed these films. Yes, Mary Millington should not have been hounded by the police. The Tories hated the so-called permissive society with a vengeance, and vowed to destroy it if elected in 1979.
Nobody went to see these films expecting Fellini. I was glad to see 'Eskimo Nell' being praised; it really is a marvellous film, much funnier than the 'Confessions' and 'Adventures' series in my view. The documentary was not a sneerfest, but a fascinating look at a much-maligned genre. Well done, Simon!