Detention (2011)
Dane Cook: Principal Verge
Photos
Quotes
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Principal Verge : I know it looks like such a lighthearted, feel-good comedy, being an expecting teenage mom, but let me tell you something - I've been principal at this school for five years. Let me tell both of you something - pregnant teenagers are never funny, ever.
Round Teen Girl : I'm not pregnant.
Principal Verge : Cut the carbs.
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Principal Verge : I make 40 Gs a year, plus dental. You may NOT have a Skittle.
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Principal Verge : The video of your... mammary gland?... was viewed twenty thousand times on the Internet.
Riley Jones : YouTube?
Mr. Cooper : National Zoology.
Riley Jones : Can I throw up?
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Principal Verge : I get it - listening to your loud music, tripping out to Fraggle Rock - but the question is: What does the future hold for Clapton Davis?
Clapton Davis : Well, I am starting my own music site.
Principal Verge : Mmm.
Clapton Davis : It's going to list new releases and review albums from bands that nobody's heard of except for me, and if they have, I'll just dismiss them with scathing comparisons to avant-garde folk rockers.
Principal Verge : Mmm.
Clapton Davis : Everything is grade' on a ultra precise one hundred point scale, and no place for feedback.
Principal Verge : Excellent.
Clapton Davis : If readers want to bitch-about, they'll have to go on their twitters. Good taste is not a democracy.
Principal Verge : And this pays, what, 13.5 a year?
Clapton Davis : Free... Costello tickets.
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Principal Verge : Do you think that I am teaching students out of love? I'm not. It's your senior year and your GPA is... It's a disgrace, but I'd rather not see you back here next fall. Give me an excuse to graduate you. IMPRESS me. Get a A. Save a small country. Something, anything, otherwise get expelled... with the lowest grades in Grizzly Lake history.
Clapton Davis : Does Home Ec count?
Principal Verge : Get your shit together, son!