"They give me space to be upset” – For queer fans, Boygenius are religion

It is the winter of 2018 and I am undergoing a series of romantic crises: misunderstandings, communication misfires, hurt feelings on both sides. All the usual elements of being in a not-quite relationship in your twenties when you’re afraid of feeling vulnerable. During this time, I can only listen to one thing: Boygenius’ first EP, on repeat. I listen to it on the night bus, in the biting cold back from the club, alone in my room burning incense. “I never said I'd be alright,” the three band members harmonise on “Me & My Dog”, the sludgy minor notes building to a heart-swelling crescendo, the words custom-made for screaming along to in the most unhinged way. “Just thought I could hold myself together.”

Clearly I wasn't the only sad queer who believed that Boygenius were speaking to their soul directly. Since their debut EP, the supergroup – Phoebe Bridgers, Julien Baker and Lucy Dacus, all successful solo artists in their own right – have amassed the sort of dedicated following that used to be typically associated with teen heartthrobs in pop bands. They have fans that faint in the crowd, fans that follow them on tour, fans that get matching tooth tattoos (which the band also have; a reference to their track “Bite the Hand”). Aside from perhaps MUNA, and previously Tegan and Sara, Boygenius occupy a very specific space within the mainstream that often remains untapped: a place for sad girls and gays to be in their feels, loudly and without judgement. As one fan told me, Boygenius “give me space to be upset.”

Earlier this summer, 27-year-old Theo got a Boygenius tattoo on their arm – not a tooth, but the words “True Blue”, a song from their 2023 debut album, The Record. They’d gotten heavily into the band after a period of emotional and material instability, during which their partner stuck by them. “I was going through a really tumultuous time. I was in an unstable living situation and I was emotionally unwell,” they tell me. “There's so much on [Boygenius’] debut album that’s about having someone who loves you in spite of the difficulties. I remember hearing the song “True Blue” and it was exactly how I felt. The lyrics are 'I can’t hide from you like I hide from myself’. So I got a “True Blue” tattoo as an ode to my partner.”

Last year, Theo got top surgery, and at the band’s Gunnersbury Park show, in August, when the band played alongside Ethel Cain and MUNA, it was the first time that Theo felt comfortable enough to take their top off in public. “It felt like a safe space,” they remember. “During the Boygenius concert, because it was so warm, I took my shirt off and that was the first time I’d been shirtless in public. The stars had aligned and this was the perfect moment. I was nervous at first, but then no one was batting an eyelid. It was a special experience.”

Boygenius tattoos are easy to find among the dedicated. When tattoo artist Holly Does Tattoos posted a whole flash of Boygenius designs online, 27-year-old Tatyana decided to immediately get three of them (a tooth, a monster truck from the “Emily I'm Sorry” video and some lyrics from “Not Strong Enough” that read “Always an angel, never a God”). They'd recently moved to London, and had struggled to find a solid queer community, but at Boygenius shows they'd found that – it meant a lot. “It’s a bold statement to make but I firmly believe that their show at Gunnersbury Park was one of the best nights of my life,” they say. Every fan I speak to mentions that evening as though it's the emo queer founding of Rome. “I love their music,” says Tatyana. "There was such a sense of queer community in the crowd that evening. It's something I’ve witnessed at other queer artists’ gigs, but [this time] it was on a much larger scale given how massive the crowd was.”

Several Boygenius fans told me the same thing: that the band gives them a safe space to be melancholic in a cathartic and enjoyable way, as opposed to just “feeling miserable and making yourself feel worse”. They told me that they’d listen to Boygenius alone after nights out, or on crisp autumn evenings when summer felt like a distant fever dream, or at their shows while crying alongside friends. Tatyana describes “Me & My Dog” as “The warmest yet saddest of hugs", while one fan, 27-year-old Emily, told me that she’d listen to Boygenius when thinking about a long distance love or a friend of hers that passed away. “I listen to “Without You Without Them” and think of him and his friends,” she says, of her friend that passed. “That’s the song that I cried to when I saw the band at Gunnersbury Park.”

One thing that I notice from speaking to people is how broad the age range of the Boygenius fanbase is. In years gone by, you might go to a 5 Seconds of Summer show and the crowd would be all screaming teenagers. But with queer artists, or artists with a queer following, there can often be a sense of agelessness to the crowd. “I feel like I’m finally experiencing what straight girls had with bands they loved in their teens,” Isobel, 22, tells me, describing how she pores over magazine covers and TikTok edits and concert clips of the band. “I’m experiencing a delayed queer adolescence.”

At their shows, people in their thirties and forties stand alongside those twenty years younger than them. From the gut-punch of a first crush not working out, to the bite of a fresh divorce, Boygenius appeals to multiple age groups. One 30-something told me that the band had been integral in discovering their gender identity, whereas another said that their music reminded her of dad who passed away.

For young fans, though, Boygenius can be a formative music experience. 18-year-old Conor tells me that he and his sister have booked in to get matching tooth tattoos at Christmas. He’s been obsessed with the band since their first EP, when he was just 13. But more recently, their debut album helped him get through a break-up. “Every song somehow felt so personal to me, as if they were singing for me, not to me,” he says. “It felt like I had this safe space when listening to their music, like they knew exactly what happened to me and were here to help me get through it.” At their Dublin show, Conor says he “cried like a baby.” “"Black Hole" and “Letter to an Old Poet” have really helped me get over my ex,” he says.

Boygenius are more than a band to their queer fanbase – they are closer to a religion. Of course, Swifties don’t see Taylor Swift as just a pop singer, and there are plenty of young boys and girls that see bands like 100 gecs as a lifestyle choice, but there’s something unquestionably specific about Boygenius – their moreish grungy indie rock tracks, their particular brand of melancholia and humour, the fact that they’re three queer women with guitars, who have so much fun, but who also aren’t afraid to be angry, or sad, or even just a little nonplussed.

I still scream along to “Me & My Dog” although I'm not as sad as I was when I first heard it. It's just a killer song. Conor feels the same way when he listens to The Record now – able to see his relationship a little differently, but no less tenderly. As he says, “The songs feel joyous again.”