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Reviews
Jo Koy: Live from Brooklyn (2024)
Who told his guy he's a comedian?
I have no idea how this guy got popular and I'm not familiar with his previous work. I saw him at the Golden Globes where he bombed hard and blamed his writers for the jokes they gave him. This alone was enough for me to dislike him, because... what standup comedian doesn't come up with his own jokes??? And even worse - how could you blame the writers for delivering a bad joke? Either take the gig and come up with your own jokes or don't take it at all.
Anyway, Netflix recommended this to me like 300 times so I decided to give it a chance. I didn't really expect it to be hilarious, but it's actually even worse than I could ever imagine.
The whole show feels like an hour-long intro to an actual comedy show. It's as if the "What's up Brooklyn, how are you tonight" went on for an hour. Mild, flat jokes that seem to never end in a punchline. Hell, he talked for 5 minutes about how if you're not laughing at his jokes, you should die tomorrow.
Do not waste your time with this. It's like your uncle getting mildly drunk, acting way drunker, and telling a story for an hour at your 8th birthday party where only the other uncles laugh and you and the other kids die of boredom waiting for the cake.
House M.D.: Moving the Chains (2010)
Not really House: One of the worst episodes
I'm not sure if they gave some affirmative action interns to write the script for this one but it's barely "House" and it's just plain bad. If you're offended, just think about it for a second and hear me out.
First, House is out of character. He's singing in the shower and takes a bath like some animated cat while he says his leg hurts. He's overly theatrical, so I wouldn't be surprised if High Laurie actively disliked this script and overacted on purpose.
Then - involving Foreman's brother... for what? House had no agenda except pranking Foreman. He hired Marcus, really? Who approved that? Who pays his salary? Also, we have no idea who Marcus really is and the script presents him as a positive character. He doesn't look like he's been in prison at all. He acts like an absent father who finally returned without the milk he promised 15 years ago, not like a brother who just got out of prison.
Then, the main storyline - it's an athlete with a crushed dream. That's it, no hope, no good news. His life is ruined and he fails at the one thing he could be the best at.
What about the soldier? House is really such a negative character he lets him cut off his leg, really? He would have done something if he was in his actual character, but nah. He talks about shooting himself in the foot - thebsoldier does it. Then House talks about amputation - the soldier does it. Nope. The real House would have thought of a clever way to get the soldier out of his useless duty. He would have given him something dangerous that makes him ill for a long time, just enough to not be deployed but he would be okay. But no, the writer thought the leg should be cut off and leave the man a cripple for the rest of his life, torturing him with a life of low-paid jobs and misery.
And, worst of all - that boring detective who started dating Cuddy. House would have retaliated in style but the only reason he didn't was because Cuddy would be mad at him? Really? House has done WAY worse than that to Cuddy, and now we have to watch our favorite character get defeated by a boring and annoying tertiary character everybody hates?
This is the point where the show started to really lack creativity and to fall into the abyss of bad writing. I'd skip it next time I watch. You don't really miss any progress if you do anyway.
Jack Whitehall: Settle Down (2024)
As boring as a kids party entertainment
It's weird to me how someone genuinely funny like Jack Whitehall could produce such a boring hour of standup comedy. He's much funnier in British game shows without a script than he is in his own special.
"Settle Down" was the one standup I was waiting for tonstart February well, but it failed to deliver. Jack Whitehall seems to be embracing some kind of a persona instead of being himself and it's not working well. I haven't laughed even one time out loud, all I got was a smirk, and it was actually based on an old Jimmy Carr joke. I'd call that joke straling but hey, they seem to be friends with Jimmy, maybe he got the permission.
Jack is kind of going for a "silly soy boy" persona and it doesn't suit him at all. His energy doesn't match his jokes and that's the reason he gets more applause breaks than laughs from the audience.
Look, I knew from the trailer than if this is the hook part (the one with the little dog), then something should be very wrong with this special. And there IS something very wrong with it. It's in this new style of "feel good comedy" that's not really comedy and it doesn't really make me feel good. The act is clean (I think?) but that doesn't help anyone. If anything, it makes Jack look more like an entertainer at a kids party than a standup comedian.
The material was predictable and I can only guess that even a novice comedy fan would know the punchline 4 seconds before the end lf every joke. And again - there weren't many jokes, because they were in the form of long, realistic stories, that Jack Whitehall somehow made not believable with his tone. Seriously, when a good comedian is telling a story, you can believe it even of it's obviously a lie. The good comedian paints a picture with his masterful use of words. Jack Whitehall did the opposite - he told stories that could very well be true, but he told them so badly, you could barely believe him.
Jacqueline Novak: Get on Your Knees (2024)
Netflix obviously doesn't care anymore
The only reason I keep my Netflix subscription is watching new standup specials. We ended 2023 strong with Ricky Gervais' new special, started with Dave Chappelle's new special... and then went down fast with Pete Dvaidson's incredibly boring new special. But just when I though it couldn't get worse, I saw this new special by Jacqueline Novak. This is literally the first time I'm hearing her name and I was excited to see a new female standup comedian, while I'm waiting for the new Taylor Tomlinson special.
My rule is to see at least 1/3 of any new standup comedian's special before I make any judgement. Let me tell you, it was very, very hard to stand through 1/3 (or 30 minutes) of this woman's material. For 30 straight minutes it was all penis & vagina jokes but it wasn't really "outrageous" or "disguisting", it was just plain awkward. See, when Amy Schumer does it, it can actually be funny (when it's not just that, of course), but Jacqueline Novak can't make it funny. She's pacing through her material while pacing nervously on the stage the whole time, which is very tiresome. I have no idea what the audience finds funny in all of this or is Netflix just using a laugh track but there are no actual jokes in this material.
All in all, imagine Hannah Gadsby lack of talent and condescending boredom, combined with Amy Schumer's bodily functions jokes and you'll get "Get On Your Knees". My advice - do not waste your time on this. If you just really want to defend female comedians and complain about the patriarchy or something, feel free to mark this review as "not helpful" but still, please - don't waste your time with it. Just tell people she's a comedy genius and that everyone who dislikes her is a sexist or something and doesn't understand the modern woman's struggles or something.
Lady Ballers (2023)
Great idea, poor execution
I really wanted this movie to be great and funny. Hollywood hasn't written a good comedy in years, and woooke comedy isn't comedy, so I really, really wanted this movie to succeed. Unfortunately, it kinda fails in the writing and acting departments.
Sure, I know this is kind of a B-movie and not an overly expensive Hollywood-style production but that has nothing to do with the humor that should've been there. All the parts that should've been funny fall flat because it feels like the writers are not telling a joke, but explaining one and telling you why it's funny. Also, some jokes might be funny "on a table" but they can't make an audience of strangers laugh. There is a huge difference between saying funny stuff to your buddies at the table and telling standup jokes, writing a skit, or writing a movie. Acting is also kinda over-the-top and it feels like one of those bad 1998 movies that were direct-to-TV back in the day.
The good part is that the movie pokes fun at a huge problem in Western society. There SHOULD be more movies doing this bravely, but seems that there are none nowadays. It also gets carried away a bit with the mask-wearing, cricket-eating, and mRNA-vaccinating which is just cheap and dumb, but at least it pokes some fun at communism.
Giving it 6 for the effort, the message, and for doing so much with such a low budget. Still, wish it was funnier. Wish I could help write it, actually but hey, I'm not an American.
By the way, I don't consider myself "conservative" (nor am I religious) but I'm definitely not a "liberal" in the modern sense of the word. I know some people are going to base their opinions on the movie (and on my review) based solely on this, so here you go.
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)
Homophobes aside, this movie is bad
From what I see, many people are excusing their low ratings with homophobia. Homophobia, however, is not a valid reason to dislike a movie. The movie being force wfed wokeness, though - this is a valid reason. The whole Harry Potter franchise is one that makes you forget the silly muggle issues of the day, and this movie is doing exactly the opposite.
Still, this isn't the worst thing about "The Secrets of Dumbledore". His gay relationship brings nothing to the story (just a "See how woke we, moviemekares, are") but it's a typical love story that doesn't do anything for me script-wise. What's worse is that ALL the characters are as bland and tasteless as a vegan white lady's potato salad.
I stopped the movie after about half an hour, as there was no intriguing action at all. I picked up where I left off just to fall for a nap 25 minutes later. In the end I forced myself to watch until the very predictable and boring end. I didn't feel any character growth. I didn't have the sense of victory. I didn't want to cheer. It was just a huge yawn.
Lucifer: A Lot Dirtier Than That (2021)
You can seriously skip this one and miss nothing
I absolutely urge you to skip this one if you haven't watched the season. The plot has nothing to do with the series, and it's some ultra woke stuff about how all white cops are bad. It's bad writing, and I even wonder if it wasn't written by some external writers, because the episode doesn't make any sense. It's just 200% wokeness down your throat. And it's not even subtle, it's... incredibly bad and obvious.
Trust me, skip this one, watch the next episode, and see if I'm lying. You won't regret skipping it, trust me.
Young Sheldon (2017)
Even better than The Big Bang Theory
I love TBBT, and I was hesitant about watching this spinoff but man, it turned out to be even better than the original show. It's VERY well written, it makes sense, it has great continuity, and it's funny without the laugh track (and I don't miss it at all). It makes me feel good, and it's kinda emotional. Great show! Oh, and I love Billy, I love Sheldon's family, and I'm gonna binge the 4 seasons I watched so far before starting with the 5th season.
Bob Hearts Abishola (2019)
Absolute cringe
To think this is what they replaced The Big Bang Theory with... man, this show is an absolute disaster. Unless you're Nigerian who's very excited about seeing a story about a Nigerian, I wouldn't understand why would you waste your time watching this. It's sad in the worst possible way, and it's also kinda racists against white people, which is weird af. There is ABSOLUTELY no humor, none at all. The "jokes" are as flat as the opinion of a flat-earth theorist, and I really can't see why this is considered a comedy at all. "Schindler's List" probably has more jokes than that.