- Paul Kemp: Oscar Wilde once said, "Nowadays, people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing."
- Paul Kemp: [Kemp and Sala are wandering down a pier late at night, high on hallucinogens] I thought I was losing grip in there. What did we take?
- Sala: I don't know.
- Paul Kemp: We need to get some more.
- [Kemp stops to stare at a tank full of lobsters]
- Paul Kemp: [quietly] That explains it... doesn't it?
- Sala: Explains what?
- Paul Kemp: The world... and us.
- [he stares deep into the eyes of one particular lobster]
- Paul Kemp: [voiceover] I wonder what it is you might think about our different worlds. He looked at me kinda sideways and said, "Human beings are the only creatures on Earth who claim a God, and the only living thing that behaves like it hasn't got one. Does the world belong to no one but you?" And when he said it, I was taken aback. Not because of who was doing the talking. Because I finally understood the connection between children scavenging for food, and shiny brass plates on the front doors of banks.
- Moburg: Maybe I can interest you gentlemen in something else.
- Paul Kemp: Like what? Death?
- Moburg: Like the most powerful drug in the history of narcotics. I'm not at liberty to discuss or disclose; all I can tell you is: this stuff is so powerful, they give it to communists.
- Paul Kemp: Who does?
- Moburg: The FBI.
- Sala: Why would the FBI get communists high?
- Moburg: That I can't help you with.
- Moburg: This country was built on genocide and slavery. We killed all the black guys over here and then we shipped in new black guys of our own. And then we brought in Jesus like a bar of soap.
- Mr. Zimburger: There's no such thing as a liberal. A liberal is a commie with a college education thinking negro thoughts.
- Lotterman: What do you know about horoscopes?
- Paul Kemp: Nothing.
- Lotterman: Ah, well, if I can write one, you can. So it's every day with a special "Star's Star" featured Saturday with Betty Grable and Neil Sedaka, things like that. So here, everything you need is right there. It's called "Madam La Zonga Predicts."
- Paul Kemp: What happened to Madam La Zonga?
- Sala: He got canceled.
- Paul Kemp: What do you mean, fired?
- Lotterman: They raped him to death.
- Paul Kemp: They raped him to death?
- Sala: There are very few places on this island I decline to visit, but the toilets frequented by sailors on the west side of Candado Pier is one.
- Paul Kemp: They raped him to death?
- Paul Kemp: Beasts of obesity. Asses that wouldn't feel an arrow. The great whites. Probably the most dangerous creatures on earth.
- Moburg: You can't fire me, you owe me money, and you better pay it or I'll go to the roof and turn this place into an insurance claim.
- Lotterman: The average guy don't rock the boat 'cause he wants to climb aboard it. And our readership is vividly average. They don't care who the losers are. They wanna know who won. Who won the bowls, who won the races, who won the pot at the slot machines. /... / And this is the American Dream.
- Lotterman: You're paying to be in the dream. There's a thin veneer, Kemp, between the dream and the reality. You wake them up and people might start asking for their money back.
- Lotterman: It's a schizoid society, Kemp. They got two languages, two flags, two loyalties, two anthems... we bring 'em stuff they never had: they either hate it or they want more of it. It's a reluctant part of America; it's like an England with tropical fruit.
- Paul Kemp: Practically every major corporation hides its money offshore. And that is good news for us, because *we* are the the shore.