Talk:Marty Mayberry/GA1

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 22:58, 26 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman 22:58, 26 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Here are the issues I found:

• "He went into medicine because of his experiences," I'd reword this a bit, at first wasn't sure what that meant.
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:20, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "Mayberry took up the sport on the disability" on the disability sounds a bit odd, reword slightly.
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:20, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "In June 2010, he got married.[4] He met his wife at a music festival" this can be combined into one sentence.
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk)
• " and he is now studying medicine at the University of Sydney." Is he still there? The lead implied he graduated so double checking.
• "Mayberry has won medals at IPC Alpine Skiing World Cup events,[23][16] and" no comma needed here
  • Removed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:20, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• " giant slalom, slalom" and slamom.
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:20, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• "Mayberry won a silver medal[1] in the men's standing downhill event where he tied with another skier[32][24] and had a combined time of 1:22.78" period at the end.
  • Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:20, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
• In general, the article seems a bit overreferenced, with a lot of refs thrown into the middle of sentences on top of the ones at the end. There's nothing against it but it does make the article physically harder to read.
  • I've moved the refs a bit per MOS. Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:20, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll put the article on hold and will pass when fixed. Wizardman 16:14, 27 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

• All points have been addressed. Thanks for your review! Hawkeye7 (talk) 02:20, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  Looks good, article now passes. Wizardman 02:45, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]