‘Depp v Heard’ Solves Mystery of Who Pooped the Bed… Or Does It?

It was the poop smelt ’round the internet — a poop crucial to the infamous defamation case between Johnny Depp and ex-wife Amber Heard, a court case that captivated the world, generated millions of clicks and views and likes, and is now the subject of a Netflix docuseries aptly titled Depp v Heard. But similarly to the smell of said poop, the question of who pooped in Johnny Depp’s bed lingered long after the trial.

For those who weren’t obsessively watching every minute of the trial via TikTok back in the spring of 2022, here’s a summary: Depp accused Heard — or possibly one of her friends — of leaving a rather decently-sized poop on his side of their bed. In her defense, Heard said that the poop was most likely left by her dog, who suffered from intestinal issues and had a pooping problem. Depp scoffed at this defense on the stand, saying that their dogs were tiny little Yorkies. How could a dog leave a poop that is, roughly, the size of the dog? This preposterous exchange, coupled with the fact that Amber’s last name rhymes with “turd,” proved to be easy fodder for online ridicule.

Now Depp v Heard has something to say about this courtroom moment — and it posits that the internet was, shockingly, wrong.

The docuseries inserts transcripts from the previous Depp v Heard showdown, a libel trial in the U.K. wherein lots of different evidence was presented. In that transcript, a text sent from Depp to one of his friends is read into evidence. It reads:

“Will you squat in front of the door of the master bedroom and leave a giant coil of dookie so that Amber steps in it and think that it’s one of the dogs, primarily Boo has a major problem. It’ll be funny.”

This text proves that 1. Depp knew that Boo had an intestinal problem, and 2. It’s possible that Boo left human-sized poops on the regular, if Depp thought that Heard would confuse a human poop for a Boo poop. Additionally, text messages from Heard were entered into the U.K. libel trial that established that Boo’s intestinal problems were an ongoing concern long before the infamous poop incident.

So what does this mean for the poop mystery? It means that the theory that the Yorkie Boo pooped the bed is not actually laughable as Depp made it seem. In fact, Depp knew that Boo could… make… on that scale and had the intestinal problems to do it. Or… doo doo it. While there’s no conclusive evidence that Boo did poop the bed, we now have a culprit that’s just as likely — if not more likely — than Amber Heard.

Depp v Heard is now available to stream on Netflix.