Fun
Frisky
Nostalgic
Intense
Adventurous
Choked Up
Curious
Romantic
Weird
Previously on America’s Next Top Model: People are pretty, the judges are mean, and 11 models continue on in a competition that has just crushed the dreams of the girly twin, all because Karma demanded a sacrifice. RIP Tash.
Back at the model house Cody, having finally shed the weight of the twin sister the judges have driven her to hate, announces how happy she is to have the time alone and to be herself. It’s appalling to me how much she’s bought into the idea that being a twin has ruined her life. Girl, have your sister’s back! On this show, at least, she’s always had yours.
Krislian is feeling good about herself after winning best photo, but Coryanne is feeling low again. She should. She’s been in the bottom a few times thus far. Get it together, LA girl!
The requisite house conflict comes when Kyle snaps on Courtney for having made a mess. It seems Kyle is just getting irritated with being in a house with so many people, and she’s just done with the whiners and the pity parties. In fact, she’s put on a bandanna to signal Done Kyle.
The next morning, Law Roach comes over to the house to discuss personal style with the models. Each model tries to describe their style to him, and it’s not the most successful endeavor. The sorest thumbs are Giah, who thinks she’s hippy chic but isn’t, and Coryanne who is just, well, forgettable.
For their challenge, the models have to find an outfit from their own wardrobes that exemplifies their personal style within 15 minutes. Tatiana kills it, of course. Krislian keeps doing the Instagram honey thing despite herself. Cody’s look is not tomboy chic. In fact it’s very feminine in Law’s opinion. Could it be that the vengeful spirit of Tash is beginning a takeover of Cody’s body? Be on the lookout! Everyone is relatively close to their announced styles, except for poor Giah, who still looks like a country bumkin. There’s also Kyle, whom Law thinks Kyle has it easiest but that she needs to elevate her rocker dude schtick. Coryanne is still forgettable, but she insists she’s a “superstar with off moments.” But if there are more off moments than superstar ones, aren’t you just off? Tatiana wins the challenge. Her prize is several pairs from the shoe line Law has designed with his good friend and episode 2 guest Zendaya.
Ritalert! Rita tells the girls, “wear the clothes, don’t let the clothes wear you” which seems like a fairly up front clue about a shoot with over the top clothing. Kyle doesn’t wanna have to wear some “girly ass” clothes because girl is not really in her comfort zone. Hey, Kyle? You’re in a modeling competition. With all girls. What are you expecting?
The next morning, the models get off their bus at an Associated grocery store in Harlem and now I truly have a sense of just how much Tyra and her production team has reduced the show’s budget. An Associated?! They couldn’t find a D’Agostino’s? A Whole Foods? Come on! They’d be at Walmart if NYC had any.
According to Drew Elliot, the grocery store photo shoot is inspired by a Chanel runway show that featured Rihanna and Cara Delevigne. OK. So someone else convinced some Chanel models to do a tacky job. Am I supposed to be swayed? Because this shoot is still set in an Associated.
To helm this shoot, Drew Elliot has brought in Designer Nicola Formichetti to give all the models avant garde looks that they’ll wear as they pose with produce. Hot.
The models’ outfits are based on their personal style and how Nicola has received their “essence.” Of course he notices that Krislian is sexy. “Is it because I’m Latina?” You know, that’s what I’ve been thinking this whole time. Krislian doesn’t strike me as sexy so much as she strikes me as pedestrian, and I’m wondering why the judges keep insisting that she’s oversexed in look. MAYBE THEY RACIST GIRL. It wouldn’t be the first time a reality show played up a negative racial stereotype.
On set, Cody looks amazing because, as she insists, her sister can’t overshadow her. This is getting pathetic. Krislian is in a dark dress that overpowers her and that she doesn’t move well in. Paige was great. Binta was great. Of course, Giah, poor Giah, stumbles in her insane heels before she is fully on set. And once she starts posing? That’s stiff and awkward too. I’m not feeling very confident about Giah’s chances of sticking around.
Kyle is given the craziest heels. They look like a black chariot led by Pegagus. Of course, Kyle is not girly enough to walk in crazy heels, and she crashes and burns in the dressing area. They switch her heels from SUPER dangerous heels to like, DANGEROUS BUT NOT SUPERLY SO heels. All better! Coryanne kills her shoot. Courtney does what she does best, self-victimize and whine. She has a brilliant photoshoot, but she is a pain. Tatiana is great, as usual. India has a good shoot. Marissa has a good shoot as well. Kyle’s shoot isn’t so great. She is having a difficult time handling the clothes and bringing forth the kind of whimsy that Drew wants in the shoot. Bummer.
At panel, India has a great shot. Krislian didn’t oversex her shoot, but she also gets swallowed up in her photo. Binta has an amazing photo. Paige did well. Cody has killed it. But then the judges do the whole, “love yourself thank god we killed off your sister,” conversation which is getting to be too much. Find Cody a different storyline. Make her hate Courtney again! Giah looks great in person, but has taken no good shots. Drew thinks she is a very beautiful woman, but not a model. That’s harsh but true. Marissa is fun in her shot, as always. Courtney has a great shot, but then out of nowhere Ashley Graham drops the bomb that she does NOT like Courtney. And here comes the pile on! Drew is so over Courtney’s complaining. He lectures her on the prospect of losing the competition and losing out on opportunities because of her attitude. Coryanne has an amazing photo, and the judges cannot contain their excitement. It really is quite beautiful and memorable. Tatiana has a great shot. Kyle’s shot is meh. The judges are disappointed with her inability to elevate. But also, apparently Kyle has a bad attitude? Law finds her presentation and attitude disrespectful. This critique seems out of nowhere. We’ve been hit over the head with how badass and hot and gender bending Kyle is for weeks now, without the slightest hint of a bad attitude. All of a sudden she has a weak shoot and she’s disrespectful? Weird.
Panel is going smoothly until the final three girls are left. But then Rita interrupts the elimination ceremony to announce that she thinks she and the judges are making a big mistake. Rita goes back to where the judges are seated and argues the case for whatever mystery model she likes, but the panel reminds her that majority rules. This feels so fake. To be honest, this week’s episode is swimming in producer interference. How else would Nicola Marchetti have known that Krislian is too sexy? Or Rita knowing that Courtney causes a lot of drama in the house?
Rita returns to form and calls Krislian’s name who has to walk up and receive a photo and half assed pep talk from a host who clearly does not want her there and has just embarrassed her in front of everyone. Thanks, Rita. Really helpful!
The bottom two models are Kyle and Poor Giah. Unfortunately it is poor, sobbing Giah, who is just a beautiful woman, that is sent home. This is the saddest elimination for me thus far. Between Giah ugly crying and announcing that she didn’t think she could be more than “talking country and never going to college and never doing anything”, this dream crushing is the worst it’s felt so far.
Rae Sanni is a comedian and writer from Brooklyn, NY who has been bringing her unique perspective on everything from pop culture to race and gender relations to audiences all over. Rae co-hosts the monthly stand up comedy show LoudMouth!. You can find Rae on Twitter @Raesanni, where she muses on her love for Rihanna, NBA players, and being a black person.
