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Sixteen Candles

For the most part, the history of TV and movies has been a wondrous and larger-than-life adventure, expanding our imaginations and our emotions. But sometimes that history has gotten weird. That’s where we come in. Welcome to So THAT Happened, a corner of the internet devoted to dredging up some of the most questionable pop culture moments and reminding you how weird your favorite shows and movies really are.

Is there anything more fun and quintessentially high school than a John Hughes movie? These films created a universe where it was OK to be quirky and where you were more than the labels society assigned to you. Few movies encompass that sentiment better than the favorite movie of every teenage girl in the ’80s and ’90s, Sixteen Candles. Sam (Molly Ringwald) and Jake (Michael Schoeffling) were the high school version of Romeo and Juliet — desperate to be together but constrained by the social hierarchy around them. Thankfully, our leading couple finally ends up together, and only one woman was date raped in the process. Hooray! Oh wait …

WTF HAPPENED?

Remember Caroline, the popular girl that we’re supposed to hate by virtue of this being an ‘80s high school movie? The character, as portrayed by Haviland Morris, gets incredibly drunk after the senior dance, which leads to Anthony Michael Hall’s character, the Geek, to have sex with with her, despite her being too drunk to give her consent. That 100% happens in this lighthearted comedy. Wait, stop groaning for a minute — it gets worse. The whole terrible thing was orchestrated by her boyfriend and our leading man, Jake (Michael Schoeffling).

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

Popular boy Jake has been dating popular girl Caroline for a while now because that’s how things work at the beginning of John Hughes movies. However, Jake secretly wants to be with Sam (Molly Ringwald), who not-so-secretly wants to be with him, too. But how does the Geek factor into all of this? A lot of antics ensue that were acceptable in 1984 but are cringe-worthy now, and the Geek finds himself in possession of a pair of Sam’s underwear. At least that part was consensual.

The Geek and Jake bond while cleaning up after the party, with Jake lamenting about not being with Sam. What does our leading man think of his current girlfriend? Don’t worry; he’ll tell you:

I have Caroline passed out in the bed upstairs. I could violate her 10 different ways if I wanted to.

Never has a intended heartthrob spoken more casually about sexually assaulting a woman. Jake then takes his scuminess a step further and offers the Geek a trade: Sam’s panties for a night with the still-plastered Caroline. The Geek immediately agrees, and they take off, Jake physically carrying his girlfriend to go do who knows what with a near stranger in exchange for another woman’s underwear. Was consent even defined in Hughes’ universe? Jake then convinces his drunk girlfriend that the man driving off with her is actually her boyfriend and not a random near-stranger who bought her body at a party. All of this happens, and all of these things are supposed to be played for laughs.

And it works! Just in case you thought this was one of those times when an ’80s comedy got uncomfortably close to the line of date rape before running away, no, that isn’t the case. Sixteen Candles races over that line. The Geek and Caroline wake up the next morning, and both assume they had sex. The Geek even has the audacity to ask her if she liked it, and she says she thinks she did. See world? The only repercussion to date raping a woman is making a popular girl like you more. Comedy! As an added awful bonus, Jake later uses this horrible plot point — which, if you’ve forgotten, he set up — as a reason to break up with Caroline. Apparently, manipulated assault now counts as cheating.

NO, HOW WAS THIS POSSIBLY CREATED?

John Hughes movies, as fun and nostalgia-provoking as they are, have a world of problems when it comes to sexism and racism. As Salon reminds us, who could forget about the time in The Breakfast Club when Judd Nelson’s character goes up Claire’s (Ringwald) skirt? Or when Ferris Bueller’s Cameron pretended to be catatonic so that he could watch Sloane change into her bathing suit? I know the general rule of thumb is to shrug off the racism and sexism of Hughes’ work with “The ‘80s were a different time,” but Sixteen Candles’ treatment of date rape is genuinely horrible. I don’t know why this was allowed, why Long Duck Dong was created, or why we as a society embraced all of this, but that’s what happened. Calling for the retirement of this “classic” isn’t 100% out of the question.

[Where to stream Sixteen Candles]

Photos: Netflix